The Way I Used To Be All series by Amber smith

Eden was always good at being good. Starting high school didn’t change who she was. But the night her brother’s best friend rapes her, Eden’s world capsizes.

What was once simple is now complex. What Eden once loved—who she once loved—she now hates. What she thought she knew to be true is now lies. Nothing makes sense anymore, and she knows she’s supposed to tell someone what happened, but she can’t. So she buries it instead. And she buries the way she used to be.

Following Eden through all four years of high school and beyond as she starts college, this deeply moving duology reveals the deep cuts of trauma. But it also demonstrates one young woman’s strength as she navigates the disappointment of adolescence, first love and first heartbreak, and friendships broken and rebuilt, all while learning to embrace a power of survival she never knew she had hidden within her heart.

The Way I Used to Be
The Way I Am Now